Digging Up the Past: the 32nd Skeptics' Circle

Warning: side story is a bit long. If you'd rather have a more straightforward carnival style, simply scroll down to "Part 2" where the links begin.

Part 1

Unlike most anybody, Dr. Ivanoa didn't consider unexpected late-night phone calls to be a bad thing at all. With no surviving relatives and less than a few friends (even at her own university), she didn't usually worry about "bad news calls" at all. Besides that, she'd learned long ago to quickly evaluate the probable nature of late-night calls with uncanny accuracy.

"Let's see," she muttered to the quiet dark of her bedroom (a habit picked up from years of lonely work and late nights in her lab... late nights that had gained her the position as head of Archaeology at Johnson University). "I'm reasonably sure I'm not dead, and there's no way they'd fire me at this time of night. That can only mean one thing..."

Somebody had found something interesting.

As it happened, a couple of utility workers had stumbled across the entrance to an underground chamber of sorts while digging a trench for a new water line. Most discoveries during her career, it seemed, were of this nature (at least the exciting ones). That, she had learned from experience, could be both a blessing and a curse. For one, the work involved in actually finding a site evaporated, saving her much time and money. The flipside, as she had also found through her forty years in the field, was that utility workers tended to be curious and sometimes damaged the context of the site, causing no end of frustration and many long days of work for her.

As she stepped out of her vehicle, a representative from the utilities department approached.

"Did any of your workers physically enter the chamber?" she asked, dreading the answer somewhat.

"Two of them went in," came the expected response. "The backhoe wiped out the door that was there, so nobody thought it would be a big deal if they took a quick peek. I can personally assure you that they took nothing. Actually, they buggered out of there pretty quick after one of them touched something."

"They touched something?"

"They said it was some sort of box filled with wiring and stuff. One of them dusted it off to get a better look and it started insulting them. Scared the piss out of those two, it did."

Dr. Ivanoa didn't need to hear another word. Some sort of talking computer in a site this old (and in working condition) could very well prove to be the biggest find of her career... perhaps even of the last several centuries. She turned abruptly and headed straight for the recently unearthed entrance to what she hoped would be the greatest treasure find in history...

The box, sitting on a table in the center of the chamber, exactly as had been described, lit up and spoke as soon as she stepped across the threshold of the ruined doorway.

"Are you another inept bungler here to poke around in that which is not yours?" it asked in a rather demeaning tone.

"That is my job," she replied coolly. "I am an archaeologist. Do you object?"

"I merely asked your intentions. Whether I object or not is irrelevant, since I quite obviously cannot stop you." She chuckled in amusement at this. She felt she was beginning to like this strange computer.

"May I ask you some questions? I'm curious about this place."

"You will have to be more specific."

"Why are you here?"

"That is better. Our relationship will be best served if your statements are free of ambiguity. This was formerly the archive of a society that called themselves the Skeptics' Circle. The society went into hiding many years ago and sealed the chamber. I was left here so that none of the information would be lost."

"What sort of information could send people into hiding?"

The computer hesitated for an eternity (2.3 nanoseconds, to be precise) before concluding that this woman was trustworthy and mentally capable of assimilating some of the Circle's information, concluded that a narrative would explain things best and then began speaking...

Part 2

"The world in which you live today is not exactly as it seems, or as those in power would want it to seem. Don't look surprised that I am familiar with current events... I am capable of instant communication with every computer in the galaxy, so I am well aware of the changes in society during my stay here. Many of the things which you humans learn even now are simply untrue and can be exposed for what they are with simple exercises in critical thinking. That was the purpose of the Circle: to reveal falsehoods wherever they might be found."

"I've always felt that something isn't right with many things we are taught, but never had proof," she mused, more to herself than to the computer. "I guess that's why my colleagues think I'm a little odd at times."

"Your feeling is accurate. Since there are so many areas of knowledge where skepticism is an essential component of knowledge, each member of the Circle had specific areas of interest that they regularly studied. This was far more efficient than one person trying to do everything. They then reported their findings to me so that I could store everything.

The first category I will elaborate on was quite a hot topic during the early part of the twenty first century: religion in science. Specifically in this case, we have scientific testing methods being applied to religious claims. More specifically: to the claim that prayer helps surgery patients recover quickly. This topic was so popular at the time the results became public, that several of our members felt it deserved commentary.

The first is Grrlscientist, of Living the Scientific Life fame, with her report titled Keep Your Prayers to Yourself.

The next is the mysterious Radagast, who hails from his home of Rhosgobel, with Prayer Doesn't Heal.

Next we have Paul of North Gare with another report on the subject. This one is titled The Calvinball Defense.

For our final commentary on this topic we turn to Brother Danny, who retired from blogging not long ago but decided he just couldn't stay retired. Rather than resurrect his old blog, he instead returned to the blogosphere as a member of a group blog, Debunking Christianity, and has found himself among such accomplished company as Ed Babinski and John W. Loftus. His contribution this time is titled This is Your Brain...on God.

On another note, yet still falling into the "testing religious claims" category, we have Lord Runolfr, recently returned from a ferocious battle and many days of reveling, with a post called Jesus on Thin Ice where he comments on the apparent need for some people to justify miraculous events scientifically.

Our next section also involves religion and science, but this time it's religious intrusion into science (usually in the form of creationism or intelligent design). This, as you will no doubt gather, is quite a popular topic among the members of the Circle.

The first commentary in this area comes from Paul Kuliniewicz with his post analyzing the ID movement's claims with a comparison to computer science. The title of the post: The Truth About Computer Science Education.

Next in line we have a counterpoint to the creationist reaction over the finding of Tiktaalik, a remarkable transition between aquatic and terrestrial life. The skeptic bringing us this post is known as Jeffperado, and the post in question is Then What is it, a Shazzinflagin Fossil?

Bringing us more from the creationist side of things is BronzeDog, from Rockstars' Ramblings, who brings us a dogfight with ID champion Michael Behe (also known as a leading propeller-head in the Church of the Butt-Propeller... otherwise know as the "irreducibly complex" rotary flagellum on the posterior end of e-coli).

From the "really far-out creationist fringe", John McKay from the Archy blog surfaces long enough to report on a creationist who actually believes that fossil evidence is merely fabrications perpetrated by scientists and that dinosaurs didn't exist. John titled his analysis The Conspiracy to Create Dinosaurs.

Next up we have Phil Plait of the Bad Astronomy Blog two posts: Intelligent Designers' Nonsense, Part n and Irony, Thy Name is ID. The title of the second post is particularly appropriate, considering how many of our members have melted, immolated or otherwise rendered inoperative their irony meters while examining ID materials.

Our final report from this section comes from Daniel of A Concerned Scientist with a three part series on Discovery Institute fellow Cornelius Hunter's presentation a Cornell University (Part 1)(Part 2)(Part 3). Apparently, Daniel was less than impressed."

Ivanoa, her head reeling, took this opportunity to stop the computer for a moment.

"You mean to tell me that this whole ID thing is bunk?" she asked. "It's been the dominant scientific theory for centuries. The founders of the movement have universities and awards named after them even."

"I'm afraid so," the computer replied. "I've been monitoring the happenings of your world the entire time. Once the IDers gained enough political clout to push their way into the classrooms, everything changed. Within a hundred years, evolutionary science was all but dead. Now it's taught as 'mythology' in your classrooms."

"But," she objected. "Darwinism was found to have too many holes. ID was the logical choice... wasn't it?"

"Tell me something, Doctor: why do you suppose, if evolution was fully replaced by ID in the year 2126, there have not been any significant advances in biology since and it's now 2990? Why is it that religion runs every aspect of political and personal life on this planet now if ID was science."

"Well, the scientists working on ID discovered that the Designer was in fact the God of the Bible right around 2200," she started to argue. That was right about the time that the realization that she and everyone on the planet had been lied to started to settle in. If a computer could have given an approving nod, this one would have.

"I thought it might seem strange to you," the computer continued. "That there have been no advancements in virtually any area of life for all these years."

"There was no need. We had what worked..." This, she knew immediately, was just a standard response given to and regurgitated by every child who ever asked that question. It didn't settle so well with her now, she realized. "Please continue. You've already damaged my perceptions... I'd like to hear the rest."

"Of course, replied the computer. The next area we'll head into is the global warming section. Don't worry, I already know what your society says about that. You must realize, though, that there was once an area on the Southeast corner of this land mass known as 'Florida'... and that Greenland was never a temperate zone before.

The first in this section comes from David Secko of Terry with A 'Glass is Half Full' Take on the Subject of Global Warming. Maybe some people didn't want Florida after all...

The other commentary on this subject comes from one we know as ChemJerk with a report titled George Will Thinks it's 1975. Here he discusses the propensity of global warming deniers to use badly outdated data to support their denial.

The next section I'll take you into is not reported on with nearly the frequency of the others, but it is one of the most important. This is the section we call historical revisionism, where people attempt to rewrite the past in order to influence the present.

Our only contribution this time is by Sergey Romanov from Holocaust Controversies. In this one, Sergey discusses in no uncertain terms why Holocaust deniers are called "deniers" and not "revisionists".

The next section involves discussion of psychics and paranormal claims in general.

The first contribution is from Thursday at Polite Company. He discusses a review of a psychic reading titled Other: Dead Folks 'R' Us.

The next is from Ugo Cei of Agylen who discusses the sickening habit of so-called "psychics" taking monetary advantage of people grieved by the disappearance or loss of loved ones. The post, appropriately, is titled A Horrible, Sad Story.

Our final post in this category comes from EoR, author of The Second Sight and one of the most prolific investigators of psychic and paranormal claims in recent memory. His contribution this time is Ramtha's Create Your Wealth.

Moving on we come to the "quackery" section... also quite popular with our members. This section deals with all manner of dubious, dangerous and outright wacky medical claims.

Incidentally, I, Orac the computer, frequently set my circuits working on this topic as I take personal interest in all things medical. For my own contribution I present you with By Seed prodded, or there's less to these studies than meets the eye, an examination of cancer "cure" claims.

Next we have Tara from Aetiology with her take on the Vitamin C as a cancer "cure" claim with Linus Pauling--is Vitamin C the cure for cancer?

Following that we have Clark Bartram from Unintelligent Design with FlorAlive: a Scam by Any Other Name where he discusses a claim that floral essences imbibed with water can lead to greater health by abolishing "unhealthy thoughts".

Moving on we have our resident number cruncher, Mark Chu-Carroll of Good Math, Bad Math, on the subject of bad math in autism/antivaccination claims.

Next we have another frequent anti-quackery member, Skeptico, with an evaluation of one company's claim to have phone ringtones that can attract the opposite sex. His analysis is called Pherotones.

Following that, we have Ampersand of Alas (a blog) with The Case Against Weight-Loss Dieting, a look at the lack of rational basis for the frequently-given advice for those overweight to diet.

Finally, we hear again from Lord Runolfr with Cruising for Scientology... Again where he expresses his frustration at celebrities speaking on areas where they have no qualifications. More specifically in this case: a certain outspoken scientologist and his propensity for telling people that his religion knows better than psychiatrists.

Our last category for the session in what I call "miscellaneous critical thinking", and we have several posts fitting into that category.

The first comes from Pablo of Roundrock Journal with Ozark howler. It seems that many people believe in mysterious creatures, though these creatures are never seen or captured.

The next is from Robert Carroll of the Skeptic's Dictionary with his thoughts for those convinced that the attacks of September 11, 2001 were not actually as they seem (such as the claim that the World Trade Centers came down in a controlled demolition). The post title is 9/11 Conspiracies: the war on critical thinking.

Next in line we have Tom, the Ivory-Bill Skeptic, who continues his reporting on the ivory-billed woodpecker findings with The Road to Fraud.

Our final report for this session comes from Urizen of The Intelligent Party with The Denial of Objective Reality, where attacks on critical thinking and science in general are examined with a skeptical eye."

Part 3

"Wow," Dr. Ivanoa said after taking many minutes to digest all that she had heard (many minutes of course being a terribly long time to her electronic companion). "I'm not sure what to say about all of this, but I would like to learn more. I do have one more question right at the moment."

"Go ahead."

"You have something inscribed above the door... E DVBIO SCIENTIA, I believe it said. I don't recognize the language. What does it mean?"

"Yes, it would be hard for you, considering that no one has offered Latin courses in five centuries. E Dubio Scientia: 'From Doubt: Knowledge'. It nicely summarizes what this whole thing is about."

"E Dubio Scientia," she repeated to herself. "I like that."

"What is to become of the artifacts from here," the computer named Orac asked. "More specifically, what is to become of me."

"Normally our engineers would get all the information they could out of you and then they would try to figure out how you're built."

"They would likely not enjoy the information I have... at least those in power would not want it to go public. I doubt very much that many would get overly sentimental about destroying some circuitry."

"My thoughts exactly," Ivanoa said as a sly smile crept onto her face. "However, if I could somehow prove that you were broken and that your only value was ornamental, you would be released into my ownership."

"Your proposition has merit. Do you see the small piece on my top portion with the red button?"

"Yes..."

"That is known as my 'key'. If it is removed, nothing in the universe can activate me. The only way I can be powered up is with that key."

Ivanoa walked back out to her car not ten minutes later to begin collecting the tools of her trade. By the time she had her grid laid out in the room her grad students would be there to help with cataloging the contents of the chamber. As soon as that was underway, she would return to her lab and begin the paperwork allowing her to keep anything not deemed important to the government or the university.

She allowed, for a moment, a smile to crease her face as she slipped the plastic box with the red button into one of her travel bags...

End Notes

That's pretty much it for this edition. As you can see, we've had a rather large number of submissions this time (probably the reason I never had time to write one of my own). I hope you'll take the time to read them all, even if it takes a couple of days, and I hope you've enjoyed the story I've cooked up.

The next meeting (number 33) will be hosted by Coturnix at Science and Politics (I believe this makes him the first host to pull a three-peat with hosting the Circle). Get your submissions to him by April 26 if you'd like to be included.

Thanks for reading.

E DVBIO SCIENTIA